One of the biggest challenges with negotiating is that we’re usually doing it on our own behalf. We’re not only close to the action, we’re highly invested in the result.
Take, for instance, negotiating your compensation for a new job. A 10% difference in your pay will impact a line item in the organization’s budget – they have to find the money to cover their obligation to you. But at the end of the day you’re a single item in the organization’s budget and (for the most part) the hiring manager isn’t going to lose any sleep tonight over how much you’re paid.
On the other hand, that paycheck is likely your entire income. A 10% difference could determine a tremendous amount about your life. Where can you live? How will you transport yourself in daily life? Do you get cable? A smartphone? What kinds of hobbies can you get into? What vacations can you afford? How often can you travel? Where will your kids go to school? Can you cover your student loans? What will retirement look like?
The Best Way to Lose
We tend to get long winded in an attempt to sell our worth. After all, we can’t just say that we’d like to drive a nicer car, so please add 15% to our salaries. We try to show the organization to see how lucky they are to have us – how valuable we are to them. We research what others earn in the same position and try to make the case that we really deserve to earn comparable, or even above average salaries.
Soon enough we find ourselves in a “ping pong numbers guessing game.” I say a number, then you say one. Then I say a new number a little closer to yours and you say one a little closer to mine. Why? Because once a number is stated, we have context to adjust it. As soon as someone says “$50,000 per year” we’ve created a comparison point for whether $60,000 per year is a lot or a little more.
This is the way you lose. Every time. The eloquent arguments you’re tossing at them don’t matter to your employer (they probably don’t really matter to you either). When you say reasons you should be paid more, all the employer is thinking “no kidding you’re amazing, that’s why we want to hire you instead of the others who applied for your position.”
Meeting in the middle isn’t negotiating the best possible outcome – it’s getting both you and your employer to settle for something less than ideal.
“Is that the best you can do?”
I’ve seen two negotiating tactics work very well for people – tactics that move closer to ideal for not only the employee but the employer too.
- Do everything you can to NOT be the first to say a number. As soon as you say one, you’ve placed a pin in the map and the entire negotiation will revolve around it. More often than not, saying the number first will guarantee you a lower paycheck.
- Ask “is that the best you can do?” and then remain silent. More on this:
If you can get them to say the number first, they place the first piece on the board – they let you see their thoughts. When you respond with “Thank you for this generous offer. Is this the best you can do?” they start asking themselves if it is. You’ve instantly put them into problem-solving mode, and the problem they’re trying to solve is how they can pay you more.
That’s is. No eloquent speech on the value you bring. No 15-paragraph email detailing the many contributions you’ve made in the past. Just a single question that gets your employer to switch perspectives entirely: instead of figuring out how to to talk you into accepting the offer, they’re trying to figure out how to do better on your behalf.
Once they’ve answered, you have your best and final offer. Now it’s up to you to accept or decline. Both are great options.
