Stop for a second and think about the three biggest things you’re hoping to accomplish right now. What came to mind? For some of you, you instantly thought of school assignments or work projects that will be finished in the next few days. Others might have thought of larger goals, such as finishing this semester with a certain standing, getting through your annual review, or landing a job. Lastly, some people probably think of farther horizons such as graduating, getting a big promotion. Oh, and I didn’t even start to list the other personal goals such as health and fitness or personal finances.
We’re terrible goal setters Yet we tend to set goals. The problem is that we don’t set effective goals. We paint these vague pictures of a better future without clearly defining where we’re trying to go. What does it mean to “be healthier”? How do you know when you landed a “good” job? Our brains can’t often picture a clear outcome because the future lies in the unknown, so we accept a vague notion of success and then get to work.
We’re too goal oriented
Honestly, I think we focus too much on goals. Ironically, we’re talking about goal setting this week in class. We’re always looking for the next thing, working intensely for it, and yet barely enjoying the success when it happens. How many times have you said something like “if I just make it to this weekend…” or “if I just finish this semester…”? What happened when you made it to the weekend? Inevitably, you were thinking about the next thing to get through.
Don’t forget to savor the landmarks when you arrive. I was fortunate to take a trip to Europe one time, and watched in wonder as people waited in line for the Mona Lisa. When it was their turn to stand in front of the painting, they turned their back, lifted their phone, snapped the selfie, and walked away having never really even looked at the painting.
Do this instead
I’m a goal machine. I could set 15 new goals before lunch. I think it’s because people are great at identifying gaps between where they are and where they want to be (at least vaguely, see my comments above). We invest all of our energy into working towards this thing, yet we’re not quite sure how to get there.
The reason that goals seem unattainable is that we can’t actually manage outcomes.
You have zero control over what happens in the future. You don’t get to dictate what grade a professor assigns you. You don’t get to decide if a company hires you for an internship, or if a new acquaintance becomes a friend. You can’t decide that you’ll be wealthy or that you’ll lose weight. These are outcomes. They arise in response to actions.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
– Viktor Frankl
You have ultimate control over actions. Want good grades? Take actions that tend to lead towards good grades. Want to be an attractive candidate for a position? Take actions that tend to make you professionally attractive. Want to lose weight? Do things that tend to lead to losing weight.
Conclusion
When I see a gap between where I am and where I want to be, I try to go beyond the goal. I don’t spend my time thinking about what it will be like to be in a certain place, I ask what the next step I can take is. Every second that you spend worrying about your grade (something that is ultimately out of your hands) is a second you could have spent taking productive action (reading a textbook, reworking a problem, visiting office hours). The same can be said for anything:
Focus on the actions you can control, and leave the outcomes to themselves – they are the natural result of focused effort.
