Couldn’t resist the song reference – Maurice is my middle name. It’s the start of the semester, which means I recently met several hundred new people. Every time, I face a challenge: a student will ask me what I prefer to be called and I want to give an answer that not only establishes my preference (Dr. Ferrar) but gives a teachable moment as to why without breaking the first impression I’m trying to make (one of approachability and genuine connection).
My References Need Updating
For the longest time, I’ve answered this question by asking if they’ve watched many episodes of the West Wing. That used to get a “yes” from about half the room. Lately, zero. “That’s that show about the President, right?” Oh well.
There’s a scene in an early episode in which the President and the First Lady are having a marital argument. At one point, the argument moves from the Residence to the Oval Office. While they’re in there, the President reminds the First Lady that “in this room, it’s Mr. President.”
Woah. I can’t imagine interrupting my wife during a disagreement to tell her to call me by my title. Brave!
He makes an interesting point: in that room he has to make decisions with massive implications – life and death, literally. The title is protection for his personal self from some of the ramifications that come with the Office.
So “Dr. Ferrar” is a Security Blankey?
No, and that’s why I think I need to update my references. That scene stuck out to me, not because of the reason he wanted to be called “Mr. President,” but because it stood as an example that there can be more to a title than vanity.
I, and many of my colleagues, don’t feel the need to have my ego stroked by calling me “Dr. Ferrar.” I know what I accomplished (I went to a LOT of school). I’m quite proud of it, but I don’t need people to remind me 47 times a day.
I also don’t need it to hide from the ramifications of my professional choices (despite what I said in class the other day). I’m not sure if you can relate to this, but I’ve told the West Wing story about 30 times now in front of a new class. Over time, the unpacking has morphed into something I don’t quite recognize, which is probably why I’m writing this post. Last week, when students asked me I explained that “sometimes Dr. Ferrar has to make decisions that Tony is too nice to make.”
Weak! And untrue. Here’s the real deal:
The Institution is Bigger than I am.
A college campus like the one I work at is an organization consisting of tens of thousands of people who show up every day to pursue a single ideal: that an idea can change a life.
That mission is far bigger than you or me. It’s bigger than what grade a student earns, or which question I select for the next quiz. I’m just a guy who comes to work and does his job to the best of his ability. But I recognize the gravity of my position: people are spending their life savings to have access to an education because they are pursuing their best lives. While I’m just a small part of that, I never want to forget just how impactful someone in my position can be.
So, I try to be the most approachable faculty member on campus. I share my life via SnapChat and Instagram. I give out my phone number so students can text me their homework questions. I speak fairly informally, and I go out of my way to accommodate the complexity in people’s lives when it comes to class policies. But “Dr. Ferrar” is a constant reminder that I owe my students something more than friendship, more than just being likable. I owe them mentorship and education, and I owe them my very best – there’s too much at stake.
Very interesting post, Tony. Your post reminded my this dicsussion:
https://twitter.com/DrMonicaCox/status/1161271743073230848
Totally see the no connection between ego and the “Dr”. I still find this debate interesting and deep.
I do also prioritize connection with students. But sometimes I find that the word “Dr. ” in any conversation (email, chat) sets a boundary and a distance. The sense of connection and closeness gets cold.
My perspective in research is team based. Not in a pyramid shape. We all should seat in circle and look at each other faces in equal distance. That builds trust, collaboration, team work.
In the other hand, I do see the need of the “use” of the word Dr. or captain (as somebody directing a ship). This sets the tone and keeps the order in the circle.
At the end of the day, what I have vaguely concluded is that the use of “Dr” is person dependent. Some students can work, communicate, get closer, respect you, work together without the Dr. word ahead of any interaction. Other people just need the word “Dr” ahead so they can get things done.
Great thoughts! I especially appreciate your comment “no connection between ego and Dr.” This is what I’ve been trying to express! I think that many students who encounter faculty closer to their age can mistake the “Dr. preference” for ego.
What’s funny is that my own approach to most things is similar to yours: sit in a circle as colleagues and equals. Yet your point that we need a captain is also key: if nothing else, someone needs to call for a decision to be made.
This is one of my favorite tensions, and one that I hope to continue exploring. Thanks for taking the time to comment here!
I think this may be one of my favorite posts. I feel like the last two sentences (that you conveniently bolded) really struck home. YOU ARE A MENTOR not just a professor. We have all had professors, not many of us have had mentors that believe in the capabilities we have to offer. Real s#!t you help all of us aspire to do more. Miss you brother. I know the people that need it, will find support when they seek it.
Keep up the good fight!
Thanks! Hopefully we can start to lead a new model of academics based on more genuine connection. The amazing thing that most people miss is that the “mentor” is the one who seems to learn and grow the most. Thanks so much for all you’ve taught me.
Remember, “Help will always be given at Hogwarts, to those who ask for it.”